Monday, February 13, 2012

Lions Tigers and Bears, Oh my!

Actually, none of the above. But Wolves? Yes.

You see, I differ from a lot of people when it comes to predators. I'm a conservative, yes, but I'm very much a conservationist at heart. Wilderness areas? All for them. Wildlife? Count me in. Wolf re-introduction? Check.

I come from a part of the world where the wolves never really left. People have CLAIMED there are no more, but the locals know better. Ask anybody that tries to keep livestock in the Ninemile area.

I'm all about restoring predators. I want them EVERYWHERE. I really do. I want wolves in Forest Park, Portland OR. I want wolves in Central Park, NYC. I want packs of wild predatory creatures stalking the land in major cities. I want Grizzly bears reintroduced in LA County. Why not? They've got the Griz on the state flag in the People's Republik of Kalifornia, why not give them some real bears?

A couple of reasons for this-

1) I think it's good for the ecology. Keep them in check, yes, manage them properly, but don't let them die out, because then we've lost part of what was a balanced system- it can never truly be restored.
2) I'm not the heartless bastard people think I probably am. I hunt, I kill, I eat red meat and feel very good about doing so. If I could feasibly make it to the point that I had to personally kill every meal that I eat for the year, I would do so. That doesn't mean I'm some kind of psycho- it means I'm a carnivore. I can identify, to a degree, with the wolves and bears. I like them, and they ARE cute and furry, even if I know, deep down, they are not nearly as friendly as my dog.
3) I think it would be damn funny. Yuppies with their pugs and teacup poodles, cowering in fear in Central Park. Granola hippies on ill-timed late afternoon hikes building security fires within the city limits of Portland, waving their feeble torches at the darkness while they fervently wish their mother was there to hold them. Hollywood big shots with million dollar bank accounts mauled on city streets, because they took a shortcut down an alley that happened to have an investigative bear in a dumpster. I really think that would be fun. And it would make much nicer headlines than the current panem et circenses that politics and the news have become.

So yes, Governor Otter, we would love some of your spare wolves. Just drop ship them to Portland and New York. Lets do this...

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